How to Stay Committed to Your Health Goals (Even When Your Family Doesn’t Understand)

Ha, ha, ha…we’re eating bread in Kristin’s house!!

I’ll never forget the first time I heard it. It was a joke—at least, that’s what it was meant to be—but it still stung. It came from someone close to me, and while they laughed, I couldn’t shake the frustration.

You see, when I started my journey to manage my IBS, I was prepared for the challenges. What I wasn’t prepared for was how much my dietary changes would ripple out, affecting family dinners, holidays, and other social gatherings. At first, everyone seemed understanding. I explained my allergies, my needs, and my health goals, thinking my loved ones would get on board. But as time went on and meals were affected, I realized how tricky it could be to navigate family dynamics around food.

The Early Struggles of Sticking to My Choices

In the beginning, things were anything but smooth. I often felt misunderstood, frustrated, and caught off guard by comments or jokes. My choice to avoid certain foods wasn’t about making anyone uncomfortable or disrupting family traditions—it was about my health. And even though I talked about it all the time, it didn’t always seem like others understood the importance of my decision. Some thought it was just a phase, while others figured I could bend the rules "just this once."

Eventually, as my family saw how committed I was—and that I was willing to make compromises by bringing my own food or cooking extra for everyone—they started to take me seriously. But it wasn’t instant. It took time, patience, and a few uncomfortable conversations along the way.

If You’re Feeling the Same Way, You’re Not Alone

If you’re facing similar challenges, I want you to know—you’re not alone. Adjusting your diet for health reasons can be incredibly isolating, especially when loved ones don’t immediately understand your choices. You’re left balancing your health needs with the desire to maintain family traditions and avoid tension around the dinner table.

Here are a few strategies that helped me, and that can help you too, as you navigate family gatherings and food-related events:

1. Stand Your Ground—Without Apology

It’s easy to downplay your dietary changes to avoid discomfort, but doing so only leaves room for doubt. Be firm in your decisions, and express your commitment to them. This isn’t just a temporary phase—it’s about your health.

Why It’s Important: When you’re confident and consistent, your family will take your choices seriously. Try saying something like, "I’m doing this for my health," with calm confidence. This shows you're committed and it’s not up for debate.

2. Make It About You, Not Them

It’s not about trying to change others or make them uncomfortable. Frame your dietary needs as a personal choice, not something you’re asking others to conform to.

Why It’s Effective: By focusing on your needs and using “I” statements like, "I’m doing this to feel my best," you take the pressure off others to make changes. This reduces any defensiveness or guilt.

3. Gracefully Change the Subject

Sometimes, the comments or jokes can keep coming. Instead of defending yourself, try redirecting the conversation to something else. Politely acknowledge the comment, then steer the discussion in a new direction.

Why It Works: This avoids unnecessary tension and lets you keep the peace without having to explain yourself repeatedly. A simple, “I totally get it. By the way, did you hear about [new topic]?” keeps things light and positive.

4. Be Prepared for Common Questions

You know your family. They’re likely to ask why you can't just "have a little" or wonder if this is a real allergy. Prepare responses that help you stay calm and firm. You might say, "Even a small amount affects me," or "It may seem strict, but it’s what keeps me feeling my best."

Why It’s Helpful: Having go-to responses reduces the stress of being caught off guard. You can respond confidently and keep things respectful.

5. Find Allies—Lean on Supportive Friends and Family Members

Find the people who understand and support you. Maybe it’s a sibling who happily offers to make a gluten-free dish or a friend who respects your choices. These allies can make all the difference, especially when you feel isolated.

Why It Matters: Allies can validate your choices, giving you the emotional support you need to continue. Even a few people on your side makes a big impact.

A Few Additional Tips for Success

• Offer to Cook or Bring Your Own Dish: When you attend gatherings, bring a dish that aligns with your dietary needs. This takes the pressure off the host and ensures you have something safe to eat.

• Communicate Ahead of Time: If you sense there might be tension, give family members a heads-up about your dietary needs before the event. A simple text or call can go a long way in avoiding surprises.

• Remind Yourself of Your “Why”: When the pressure starts to get to you, reconnect with the reason you’re making these changes. Knowing why you’re doing this strengthens your resolve and keeps you grounded.

Takeaway: Be True to Your Health Goals, Even When It’s Hard

Prioritizing your health is no small feat, and it can be even harder when it impacts family gatherings or traditions. But remember, this journey is about your well-being. You deserve to make decisions that support your health, and it’s okay to assert those needs with kindness and confidence. Over time, the people around you may come to understand and respect your choices—even if it takes a little time.

If you need more tips on managing food-related events or want more support around navigating these situations, download my Holiday Digestion Survival Guide. It’s packed with tips tailored to making family meals and social gatherings stress-free while staying true to your health goals.

And if you’re ready to take the next step and dive into how to manage your gut health, join the waitlist for The Digestive Reset today.